The Marauder's Map In the Wrong Hands
by Sainyn
Summary: What happens when someone steals Harry's beloved map and try to work it? View what the marauders would say to various people of Harry's time.
1. Parvati Patil

**Disclaimer:**

**I am no J. K Rowling, how much ever I would love to be. I do not own anything related to Harry Potter, except a copy of the books, and the SS and GoF movie.**

**Parvati Patil**

Harry Potter was sitting on his four-poster bed in the Gryffindor Tower with his friend, Ron Weasley. They were peering over what looked like a piece of old parchment. Harry looked around to see the gentle raising and falling of Dean's chest as he slept and Neville sleeping peacefully in his bed. Harry muttered something under his breath and tapped the map with his wand. They whispered to each other excitedly, before walking out of the room. An hour later, when they returned, Harry quickly packed the parchment away into the bottom of his trunk. He and Ron got back to their respective beds and slept.

Slowly, a dark figure tiptoed over to the bed and took the parchment carefully, from the trunk. The person then slipped into a neighboring bed, clutching the parchment gleefully. He had done what she had asked of him. Now, would she realize his true feelings for her? He fell back, dreaming very interesting dreams.

"Well, Parvati, here's the thing you wanted" said Dean, handing her a piece of parchment. "What's the big deal about it anyway?"

"Dean, Dean, Dean" Parvati said, shaking her head. "Don't you realize that Harry is the single coolest guy in the WHOLE of Hogwarts right now? No offense to you, of course"

"So?" Dean looked blank and slightly put off.

"Don't you realize? If Harry spends so much of time looking at it, it must be important. Well… bye!" She walked off towards the Gryffindor common room. Dean looked at her back wistfully. What did he have to do to please her?

"_Specialis revelio!" _The spell she'd asked from Hermione Granger worked. Words slowly appeared on the parchment. Parvati couldn't contain her excitement. Was it a love letter?

**Mr. Padfoot is surprised that his godson is so popular that girls go **so far as** to steal personal things from him. Mr. Padfoot also asks you, Parvati Patil, age: sixteen, height and weight: ahem, best friend to Lavender Brown and twin sister to Padma Patil, to please lay her hands off his godson's belongings. He is already taken, sorry. Or did you not notice him crashing into walls when Ginny Weasley walks past him?**

Parvati dropped it onto her lap, shaking and shivering. Was it a piece of Dark Magic? How did it kno-

**Mr. Moony requests Parvati to not be surprised and reveal less on Myspace if she doesn't want others to know her details. Mr. Moony also asks her to get a life and stop running after boys she knows she won't get. Dean Thomas seems to have an eye for you though…**

**P.S: Girly screams do not turn him on**,**though.**

**Mr. Wormtail: Uh… I know how you feel… I had a little unrequited love in my school days… uh… and… well… so… that's all…**

**Mr. Prongs cuts in on the pathetic whimpering and says that though he isn't surprised that his son is so popular (after all, Harry **_**is**_** his son) he asks Parvati ****not to**** follow Harry like a **_**rat**_** with a face like an eager **_**dog**_**. Mr. Prongs admits how much girls can resemble **_**werewolves**_** hunting their prey when they are infatuated (the girls, not the werewolf).**

_**Ms.**_ **Dun-Bar advises arrogant toerag Prongs to stop being so hard on a poor boy-crazy girl or feel the pain of one of Ms. Dun-Bar's potions which might accidentally fall into Prongs' pumpkin juice.**

**Mr. Prongs interrupts Ms. **_**Dun-Bar **_**here to ask her a polite question: "DUN-BAR??? What the ruddy hell is that? Do they sell firewhisky there? Ms. Dun-Bar says that it isn't her fault that Prongs pays no attention in Herbology and that a Dun-Bar is a small brown moth that feeds on lilies.**

**Mr. Prongs admits that he can see how Dun-Bar looks like a moth.**

[**Brief interruption as Ms. Dun-Bar hexes Prongs**

**Ms. Dun-Bar: Well dear, as I was saying, being crazy about Harry is not a bad thing, but Harry just likes another girl. Why don't you just try to forget him and try to work on Dean?**

Parvati looked at the paper for one more second, before throwing down on the table. What was this? Should she give it in to Professor Mc'Gonagall? Just then, an idea struck her. Draco Malfoy was going to be _so_ repaid for laughing at her… All she had to do was give him the parchment with an anonymous note. Just thinking about it brought a smile to Parvati's face.

She would do it in Potions: just putting it into Draco's notes with a note saying it would be useful was enough. Or better still, the note could say that it was a gift from Pansy Parkinson- no, then he would run away faster than Severus Snape when confronted with shampoo... Anonymity was the best. It was definitely going to be fun!


	2. Draco Malfoy

Parvati walked down the steps to the cold Potions dungeon. As she entered, expecting to see Snape- black, greasy curtains of hair, hooked nose, and cold eyes, a shock awaited her. Snape indeed was there, but his hair… well, that was something different. For a second, it was bright pink, then it changed to purple, to orange, to grey and various others. Honestly, it was an improvement- it was no longer greasy. Parvati was unable to contain herself; she quickly sat in her place and giggled behind her books. She heard Harry, Ron and Hermione whispering in the table next to her one.

"You promised that you were borrowing my Color Changing Ink for purely medicinal purposes! I smelled a rat just then…" It was Hermione

"Hermione, haven' you heard? Laughter _is _ the best medicine" Ron whispered back. Hermione had no answer.

The potion they had to make was tough and grueling. She filled her cement like potion in a flask. Everybody else was around Snape's table, submitting their flasks. Parvati snuck to Draco's table and put the parchment into his notes, along with a message that said:

_To the great, majestic, absolutely brilliant Malfoy, here is something you may find interesting. There is something special about it. You will find it quite interesting. I bow to you, oh Great One._

_-A Secret Admirer_

Malfoy was in the Slytherin common room, his feet on the table. His meeting with Potter in the corridor had gone off well… let's just say that Potter was in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey trying to cure a very private part of Potter's. Draco lazily turned the pages of his Potions notes, like an amputated basilisk trying to scale a wall covered with Potter's spit. Wait, a basilisk had no legs to be amputated. Well, whatever. Suddenly he (Malfoy, not the Basilisk) saw, a piece of parchment in an alien handwriting. It looked interesting. After reading it, he kept down for a few minutes to think. Then, he took something like a red eraser from his bag and rubbed it. Words appeared…

**Mr. Padfoot would like to hex Mr. Draco Thinkyoucandoanythingandgetawaywithit****Malfoy. Mr. Padfoot's sincere advice is thus: Go kiss a cow! **

**Mr. Moony would like to remind Prongs that Maniacal Malfoy has already kissed Pansy Parkinson, so your advice is of no use**

**Thank you very much for that rare insight, Mr. Moony. As I was saying, Mr. Padfoot dares Malfoy to touch Harry Potter or any of his friends again. Only one word: underclothes**

**Mr. Wormtail threatens Doltish Draco that Dobby will come after him and you will be powerless and that Mad Malfoy ****will**** probably ****have to**** go to ****St****Mungo****'****s and Mr. Wormtail hopes that reading this run on sentence gives Malfoy a headache**.

**Mr. Prongs says that he has seen Draco and ****Blaise Zabini**** sneak into the Room of Requirement many a times. Mr. Prongs threatens to put this delectable piece of news on the Notice Board if Draco Malfoy does not stop disturbing Harry soon. Then Prongs ****imagines****that Snivellus Snape will ****not**** be so happy with Suck-Up Draco anymore when he finds out that little Draco is- **

Mr. Padfoot says that he does not think Snivellus would mind very much about Draco's little affair; after all, who doesn't know about Snivellus' and ole' Nott's Spring Fling?

**Mr. Prongs wants to remind Draco that** **this is our last warning****so he better not**** do anything to Harry or his friends, or else… **

Draco's eyes were wide. He screeched a very un-manlike screech, calling Crabbe and Goyle. They came, blundering down the stairs. "Practicing for the opera, Mr. Malfoy? Need help?" asked Crabbe.

"No, you fool! Come with me immediately. I have something Professor Snape would like to see…" He told them what had happened. Goyle asked "But do you really want Professor to know about… about you and Zabini, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Good point. Let's just… _forget_ that part. Also about the underclothes." Draco agreed.

They were standing outside the dungeons door. They had knocked on the door, but they had been told to wait. Draco was saying, "Do you have any idea, Crabbe, Goyle, what this is? Oh, wait a minute, I forgot. Gorillas probably won't know…"

"First of all, Mr. Malfoy, I am, please, no gorilla. And… Mr. Malfoy, this is obviously a piece of… uh… Dark Magic" Crabbe answered.

Just then, a vice like grip descended upon their shoulders. "Just _what_, Mr. Crabbe did you say?" asked Professor Mc'Gonagall. Oblivious to Draco's warning head-shakes, Crabbe said "This parchment is obviously Dark Magic."

"Well, though it is better to ignore what Mr. Crabbe says most of the time- Gorillas blabber a lot, you know- I think it will be better for me to take this parchment with me. I feel better to, as your father is, unless I am mistaken, enjoying the benefits of a first class room in Azkaban? He must be rather happy: Free room service by attractive dementors, exquisite location, and a beautiful beach with his mates- Goyle, Crabbe, Nott… Yes, he must be rather happy." Professor Mc'Gonagall walked away with the parchment.

Draco fumed. "We _have_ to get that back! Mc'Gonagall'll probably just leave him off the hook, whereas Professor Snape…"

A/N: So… how is it?


End file.
